Strong Testimony

(A talk I gave in church two weeks ago)

Thirteen summers ago I stood at the pulpit in front of my Young Single Adult ward in Minneapolis. As I looked out, I gave the congregation my most piercing gaze. I opened my mouth, and with as much authority as I could muster, said, “I ask of you, my brethren and sisters of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?” (Alma 5:14-15) I remember feeling really pleased with myself for thinking of such a clever way to grab everyone’s attention at the beginning of a talk.

In the course of that talk, I shared a story about how when I was about 10 I grasped an important principle in Sunday school. My attention was triggered when the teacher told the students, who had all been born, raised, and baptized in the church, “Even you have to be converted.” What?  I thought. I’d been baptized when I was 8, and I had been taught the gospel my whole life up to that point. Isn’t “conversion” something that only happens to new members of the church? At that young age, I was not very familiar with the workings of the Spirit, but I thought, logically, with my knowledge of the gospel and my belief of its truths, I could consider myself converted, but I wasn’t entirely sure. By the time I was in college, standing in front of the congregation presenting my talk on conversion, I was pretty sure that I knew what I was talking about. I felt like I had a solid testimony. I had experienced a mighty change of heart.

Here I am again, presenting a talk with a similar topic. I found that talk from 13 years ago in my journal and read through it this week. Looking back on how I felt and what I said then, I am amused. I read through that talk with the attitude of an adult doting on the adorable accomplishments of a toddler. It was sweet and endearing, thinking of the younger version of myself, that I thought I had such a strong testimony. At the time, I did, considering my phase of life. But compared to how I feel now, my testimony then was like a tiny, newly sprouted seed. It’s interesting how using the same words in a testimony from year to year can feel completely different as your understanding of gospel truth deepens.

Progression of a testimony

I once heard a talk as a youth that discussed the progression of a testimony outlined like this: first you have desire, then you have belief, then knowledge. When one hears the teachings of the gospel, the first feeling that may come is a desire to believe. Alma taught that, “Even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe.” (Alma 32:27) Desire grows to belief and belief grows into knowledge. Seems straightforward, right? According to this rubric of testimony progression as I understood it as a teenager, feeling secure enough to say “I know this is true” was the pinnacle of testimony. 

When I gave that talk 13 years ago, I knew the gospel was true. How could I feel like I was at the pinnacle of testimony then, but in retrospect see that as just the beginning? I think there is an important feature about the progression of testimony that was missing from that discussion I heard as a teen. You can say “I desire to believe the gospel” and “I believe the gospel” and “I know the truth of the gospel” until you’re blue in the face, but it all means nothing until you can honestly say “I live the gospel.” Living the gospel is what will build and strengthen a testimony. Elder Richard G. Scott said, “[A testimony] is the very essence of character woven from threads born of countless correct decisions.” 

I’ve looked to the General Authorities to help me explain how we develop a testimony, and I discovered the following pattern. First, we need to believe the teachings of the gospel. Second, we need to exercise our faith. Third, we will feel a mighty change in our heart.

Believe

First, we need to believe the teachings of the gospel. Just a year and a half ago at General Conference, Elder Holland told this story: 

A 14-year-old boy recently said to me a little hesitantly, “Brother Holland, I can’t say yet that I know the Church is true, but I believe it is.” I hugged that boy until his eyes bulged out. I told him with all the fervor of my soul that belief is a precious word, an even more precious act, and he need never apologize for “only believing.” I told him that Christ Himself said, “Be not afraid, only believe.” …I told this boy that belief was always the first step toward conviction and that the definitive articles of our collective faith forcefully reiterate the phrase “We believe.” And I told him how very proud I was of him for the honesty of his quest.

What should we believe in our quest for truth? Believe that Heavenly Father lives and he loves us and has a plan for us. Believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior and atoned for our sins. Believe that the fullness of the gospel has been restored to the earth in these latter days. These are the fundamental components of a testimony of the gospel.

Exercise Faith

The next step in building a testimony is to exercise faith. Elder Scott said, “You’re testimony will be fortified as you exercise faith in Jesus Christ, in His teachings, and in His limitless power to accomplish what He has promised.” So what does it mean to “exercise faith?” We exercise faith by doing. Moroni taught, “Faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” (Ether 12:6) That means you must practice the truth or principle you have faith in. As you live it consistently, there will come a witness of its truthfulness through the power of the Holy Ghost. 

How does this apply to exercising faith? Let’s go back to the fundamental components of our testimony. If we believe that Heavenly Father lives and loves us, what would we do to exercise faith? We would pray to him. We would feast upon the words he has given us through scripture. If we believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior and atoned for our sins, what would we do to exercise faith? We would repent of our sins and wrongs and try to live better, be better, according to the example that Jesus Christ set for us. If we believed that the fullness of the gospel has been restored to the earth in these latter days, what would we do to exercise faith? We would partake of that fullness by making every covenant with the Lord that we can, being baptized, attending the temple, and sharing with others the truth of the restored gospel.

Elder Scott said that as we exercise faith in specific principles, “there will come a witness of its truthfulness through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

The Holy Ghost

I want to talk about the importance of our relationship with the Holy Ghost. I feel entirely inadequate to express just how important this relationship is. When we are baptized and confirmed, we are blessed with the gift of the Holy Ghost. I like to imagine the gift of the Holy Ghost like the best friend that ever was. This best friend comforts you when you’re sad, gives you confidence, inspires you with ideas, always is a good influence, and is always available. But just like any friend, the Holy Ghost can be offended by your actions. The Holy Ghost will only stay with you as you are obedient to Heavenly Father’s commandments. But it is possible to have his constant companionship. You can live your life not just with occasional spiritual experiences, but as if the Spirit is walking the path of life with you every day. I urge you to do everything you possibly can to be worthy of the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. It is through the refining fire of the Holy Ghost that we know our sins can be forgiven. It is through the comforting peace of the Holy Ghost that we have the confidence to face this dark and sometimes scary world. It is through the divine inspiration of the Holy Ghost that we can “know the truth of all things.” It is through the breathtaking revelation of the Holy Ghost that our minds can be open to new ideas and new understandings of reality, both temporal and spiritual. 

I feel like my words regarding the importance of the Spirit are inadequate partly because the Spirit communicates on a completely different plane than verbal communication. In 1 Corinthians, Paul says, “We speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” With that in mind, I hope that my spiritual conviction is speaking with the spirit that is within you. 

Here are some wise words that I find inspiring about the Holy Ghost:

Elder Bednar taught, “Obedience opens the door to the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. And the spiritual gifts and abilities activated by the power of the Holy Ghost enable us to avoid deception—and to see, to feel, to know, to understand, and to remember things as they really are. You and I have been endowed with a greater capacity for obedience precisely for these reasons.”

Joseph Smith taught, “A person may profit by noticing the first intimation of the spirit of revelation; for instance, when you feel pure intelligence flowing into you, it may give you sudden strokes of ideas ... and thus by learning the Spirit of God and understanding it, you may grow into the principle of revelation, until you become perfect in Christ Jesus.”

Elder Boyd K. Packer taught, “The choicest pearl, the one of great price, is to learn… how one is guided by the Spirit of the Lord—a supernal gift. Indeed, it is a guide and a protection.”

You may feel the spirit through a warm feeling in your heart, or as a calm peaceful assurance, or as Joseph Smith said, by ideas like pure intelligence flowing into your mind.

I personally recognize the spirit most frequently as a warm feeling blossoming in my chest. I remember as a youth actively trying to improve my relationship with the Holy Ghost so I could more clearly understand promptings. As a new freshman at BYU, I was in a car with a group of new friends on our way to the canyon for a bonfire. As I was looking out the window, suddenly I felt the Spirit blossoming in my chest. I thought, this is weird timing. I’m not seeking for the spirit, and I’m not doing anything particularly religious. So I said a little prayer asking if there was anything the Spirit was trying to tell me. As an answer, I had the idea come to my mind that I was in the right place at the right time. My journey to BYU was a little rocky, so having such strong, casual confirmation that I was doing the right thing was a beautiful feeling that helped increase my confidence and faith. I sat in that car ride and basked in the warm feelings of the Spirit as long as I could.

Building your relationship with the Spirit is the key to building a sustaining testimony.

Mighty Change of Heart

Growing our testimony happens very gradually, line upon line, precept upon precept. President Packer said, “we become taller in testimony like we grow taller in physical stature; we hardly know it happens because it comes by growth.” Through patience, and consciously making correct decisions and exercising our faith, our testimony will grow and grow until we receive a mighty change of heart.

King Benjamin’s people experienced this change of heart. They described it in Mosiah like this, “we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” When we experience the mighty change of heart, we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. This mighty change of heart leads to a stronger level of testimony, sometimes referred to as conversion.

My understanding of the growth of a testimony as a youth was elementary. Spiritual growth and conversion is a lifelong quest with indescribable results.

Elder Bednar said, “Testimony is the beginning of and a prerequisite to continuing conversion. Testimony is a point of departure; it is not an ultimate destination. Strong testimony is the foundation upon which conversion is established. Testimony alone is not and will not be enough to protect us in the latter-day storm of darkness and evil in which we are living. Testimony is important and necessary but not sufficient to provide the spiritual strength and protection we need.”

I felt that I had a strong testimony in college. I feel like my testimony now is so much more secure. If comparing then to now, my testimony then was like a fragile little plant, how will I feel ten years from now if I stay true to the teachings of the gospel, exercise my faith, and welcome the refining influence of the Holy Ghost? I’m realizing I’m still young in faith. I want to repeat Elder Scott’s quote from earlier in my talk, “A testimony is the very essence of character woven from threads born of countless correct decisions.” The quote goes on to say, “A strong testimony gives peace, comfort, and assurance. It generates the conviction that as the teachings of the Savior are consistently obeyed, life will be beautiful, the future secure, and there will be capacity to overcome the challenges that cross our path.” I pray that each of you feel this peace, confidence, and beauty that the Spirit can bring into our lives through a mighty change of heart.

What modern Feminism sounds like to me...

We want you to value individual autonomy above all else — except when we want you to reject certain choices you might make in favor of solidarity with other women.

We want you to see women as victims of everyone and everything — even though feminism is supposed to be empowering.

We want you to express your true nature as women — except we’d prefer you throw the men and children in your lives under the bus.

http://nypost.com/2014/08/04/scenes-from-the-feminist-implosion/

Potential

My first illustration with Copic markers, copied from Fairyopolis.

Sometimes I feel like I've been unusually blessed with very visible talents. Then, in the next heartbeat, I feel so unrefined, like I'm the jack of all trades, master of none. I often ponder on the parable of the talents that Christ taught in the New Testament and how that applies to me. What am I doing with the talents I've been given? Am I improving upon them? When the time comes for accounting, will it look more like I've been holding back what I've been given in fear of what would happen if I let it out? Or in fear that I won't be able to multiply what I've been given?

During my senior year of high school, the yearbook committee requested favorite quotes from seniors to put in the yearbook. The one I submitted went something like this: One's greatest adversary is one's own potential. Sometimes I still feel that way. I feel like I have this enormous potential taunting me, but I don't know how to realize it.

From the cover of Little Quack's New Friend

Well, there's been a convergence of events and circumstances that have brought me back to contemplating the development of my potential. First, I don't have career-oriented responsibilities outside of homemaking. I am unemployed. This is a blessing and a curse considering my stage in life. Second, as of last year's resolutions, I've felt the need to re-visit old dreams, which include using and developing my talents. Third, as a birthday gift I asked for and received some professional Copic markers to start what will become a collection. Fourth, the author who I've done several book covers for (Jacob Gowans) has a series that has been picked up by a publisher (hooray!). The series--was called The Storyteller's Tale, now called A Tale of Light and Shadow--only had one book so far, and I did the cover for it (I never posted it on this site, oddly). Now that it's been picked up by Shadow Mountain, of course he's getting all the professional courtesy and attention that he deserves, including an official cover artist. My socks were knocked off when I learned that his cover artist would be Brandon Dorman. I felt so happy for him, and so awkwardly inadequate, too.

I have to say, I have admired Brandon Dorman's illustrations since I read the Fablehaven series years ago. He did the art on the cover and interior chapter headings. I've even rented some of Brandon Dorman's children's books from the library because I enjoy his illustration so much. He is really a fabulous illustrator, so whimsical, clever in his angles and composition, amazingly sensitive and expressive in his color choices.... He does stunning work.

Olaf from Frozen using Copic markers.

Which led me to this realization: I covet his talent. I'm reading the Old Testament right now in my scripture studies so when that thought came to me I immediately retorted with the thou-shalt-not's in the ten commandments. But this is different. Paul said "But covet earnestly the best gifts" (1 Cor. 12:31) in an effort to lead the saints toward perfection. I can develop what I have been given by seeking for the passion and inspiration I need to fill this potential that I sense within me. The Lord blesses with spiritual gifts if we ask for them.

Just a couple days ago I was reading about Bezaleel, the artisan who was personally selected by the Lord to create the most sacred of artifacts for the tabernacle. Of him, Moses said, "And he hath filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship." (Exodus 35:31) Not only that, but he was blessed to be able to teach others of his knowledge. What an honor! What a glorious set of talents to have! What would it be like to be personally selected by the Lord and filled with his spirit and knowledge to create things of beauty to glorify Him? I can only imagine.

Little Bear imagining himself playing with a mermaid. Originally by Maurice Sendak.

I was contemplating all these thoughts in my prayers the other night and a thought came to me. "Now is the time to polish yourself." I will take that to heart. I'm not sure what that entails right now, but I'm going to work on it.

So far, I have been making a consistent effort to sketch more. I have become so used to doing digital vector art and working on a time crunch, more concerned about efficiency than quality or development, since that is what my former job required of me. I have gotten out of the habit and comfort of sketching by hand. To get back into it, I'm copying characters from my children's stories. I ultimately want to become comfortable with my new markers, be able to think creatively without requiring a visual prop as a resource, and develop my own illustration style.

Ana from Frozen using Copic markers.

I'm not only polishing myself with my artistic talents, I also have plans for my musical ones. I've been playing the piano almost every day lately, and feel more comfortable there than I ever have. I'm also developing different angles of my vocal performance, one of which I get to perform on Saturday at the local theater! Yay! Adventures await me, I can feel it.

Grinding wheat? Soaking grains? Sounds like a lot of work...

But I'm starting to think it's worth a try.

It started with my sister. She has had digestion problems for years and has tried everything in the book-elimitating certain foods, recipes galore, vegetarianism, even yoga to see if it helped her digestion. She's visited several doctors and all have said "reduce stress and eat more soluble fiber." She was at a point where if she tried to consume more fiber she would've turned into a tree. And still she had painful and poor digestion.

A couple months ago she came across a book that took food preparation back to the pre-industrial days. It was one of the few things she hadn't tried yet so she thought she'd have a go. It worked. She has never felt better. The benefits have extended beyond just improving digestion. She has more energy, doesn't feel like she's battling depression all the time, she has better memory and focus. She couldn't say enough good things about it when I was talking on the phone with her.

So I thought I'd do some research of my own. You should know that I've always tried to avoid overly processed food. I've never trusted some of those ingredients lists, they just don't seem right. In my research I've discovered there are a lot of conspiracy theorists and fear-mongerers out there. I'm not trying to do that. I'm just trying to find facts to help me take better care of my body and my family. However, In the Doctrine and Covenants there is a chapter referred to as the "Word of Wisdom" that talks about what is and isn't good for our bodies. There is a verse that says "In consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days, I have warned you, and forewarn you, by giving unto you this word of wisdom by revelation." So even though I am not a conspiracy theorist, the fact is there is a lot of greedy companies out there who are only looking at their bottom line, not at what their product does to your body.

I decided to approach my research as instructed in Matthew 10:16, "be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves," discerning between the fear-mongers and the truth-sayers.

I've found TONS of information out there. I want to use this as a reference for me for some of the more poignant articles I've found, so I'll probably add to this post as time goes on.

1. About Phytic acid and nutrients in grains
2. Be kind to your grains... and your grains will be kind to you
3. The value of soaking your own grains
4. The Ploy of Soy

I haven't changed anything about how I prepare my food yet, but I will, and I will document it here. This may be one of the largest experiments I've tried yet.

Saving tomato seeds

About a month and a half ago I was involved in an emergency preparedness fair for my church. The fair covered everything from first aid to food storage. In the food storage category there was a booth on gardening and I was asked to make a pamphlet about saving garden seeds. I thought it was an interesting topic and was looking forward to doing more research.

I didn't expect to be convinced that one day this is absolutely how I want to do a garden.

Admittedly, there would have to be a really big crisis for the majority of people to resort to living off their own land, but it may not be so hard to imagine. Say we had a major gas crisis and trucking as we know it would cease. That would mean no fresh fruits and vegetables in the grocery store all year round. Say the price of food continued to skyrocket beyond what the average income could support. We've already seen it increase considerably in the past two years.

Ok, back to my garden seeds. One of the first facts that was brought to my attention was the problem of hybrid seed varieties. I know there are a lot of hybrid vegetables out there, and they make some delicious eats, but their seeds are sterile or unpredictable. It's a great way for the seed companies to guarantee an income every year, but not so good if you don't want to buy seeds every year--or if you find yourself in a major crisis and seeds (or vegetables) aren't available.

The second fact that appealed to me was the tradition of heritage seeds. Heritage seeds have been saved from year to year for generations. Gardeners take their healthiest, best fruit at the peak of the season and keep the seeds. If you grow a heritage variety that has grown locally it will be naturally resistant to most local diseases and bugs and appropriately hardy for the climate.

So preserving garden seeds seems like a smart idea to me. I got most of my information from the book "Seed to Seed" by Suzanne Ashworth. It's an awesome book if your interested. For the poster that went with the brochure I decided to take pictures of the steps of saving tomato seeds. My tomato was not from my garden, unfortunately, but from the ever abundant garden of HyVee. The brochure I made is saved on a different computer, so I don't have the nicely worded instructions, but here goes.

Start with the best tomato of your harvest. Cut it in half around the "equator" or horizontally across the middle.
Squeeze the seeds, juices and slime out into an open container. I used a cleaned-out yogurt container.
To get all the seeds, you can also use a spoon to gently scoop out everything.
This is what it looked like in the container.
Now is the fun part. Let your open container sit at room temperature and ferment for at least three days until it grows a nice layer of fungus on it. Tomato seeds have a layer of gel around them that can't be removed safely any way but fermentation. Make sure it's in a location where the stench of fermentation won't bother anyone. I put mine in the garage. Here's what it looked like after 3 days. Oh, and it didn't smell that bad.
After this, you put the whole kit and caboodle in a strainer and rinse, rinse, rinse. I hand-picked out the bigger chunks as I went along.
Finally, after patting off as much moisture as you can, you need to spread the seeds out to dry on a flat hard surface for 7-10 days, stirring them around at least once a day so they don't stick to each other or the surface.
Voila! You have seeds for next season! Store your seeds in an airtight container if possible (to keep out moisture) and in a location without too much variance in temperature, like a basement or cellar.

I know it may seem like a lot of work, but it took only a matter of minutes to do everything (minus the waiting time).

I don't know how to end this post. I wish I could praise the benefits of doing this but since I've never actually done it, that would seem awkward. I had some good quotes in my brochure, but I don't have that, so just imagine some really inspiring quote about saving garden seeds and how it will save the world. The end.