Prayer

This is a talk I gave today in church.

One of my most vivid memories growing up is also one that was frequently repeated. It would be late and some sort of childhood catastrophe had happened that required the aid of my mother, perhaps I was treated unjustly by a sibling, or I had an urgent question. I would call up the stairs for my mom to help resolve the issue, but there would be no response. I knew she was up there and awake so I would climb the stairs, open her door, and find her kneeling by her bed in fervent, silent prayer. From past experiences with this same setting, I knew that my problem would wait. I was not her priority at that moment. Sometimes I would sit in the hall and wait for what seemed like hours, but all of us kids knew that when Mom was praying, we didn’t interrupt. My mom’s example had a profound impact on the way I viewed prayer. I always knew from a young age that prayer was a real form of communication, that it was important. Prayer helped sustain my mother as she raised her six kids. I remember kneeling together in family prayer and hearing her pray for each of us by name, listing the struggles we were experiencing, asking for the aid of heaven. I remember other times while I sat in the hall as a teenager waiting for her, wondering if she was praying for my wayward brother, or my sister on her mission, or praying for my struggles that she may or may not have known about, knowing how specific her prayers were. I remember having moments in college where I could feel the effects of her prayers for me, I could feel the powers of heaven blessing me because of her prayers.

Prayer is as old as humanity, but it is by no means out dated. It remains one of the most accessible forms of communication. We don’t need to pay a monthly service fee. We don’t need gadgets or keyboards. We don’t even need to speak out loud and our Heavenly Father will listen, will hear the pleading of our hearts. Not only is it the most accessible form of communication, it is also the most rewarding. Prayer is what led the young Joseph Smith to discover the truth of the gospel. Prayer is what led to miracle after miracle in the Old Testament. Prayer is what converted and saved Alma the Younger. Prayer is how faith is displayed. Prayer is a blessing of unimaginable magnitude.

What a privilege it is to pray to an all-knowing, loving Heavenly Father who only wants us to live so we can receive every blessing he can bestow upon us. 

How We Pray

I have a lot of favorite primary songs, so I guess it’s a good thing that I’m serving in the primary right now. One of the songs that has stuck with me and come to my mind many times is about prayer. It goes like this: 

I kneel to pray every day, I speak to Heavenly Father. 

He hears and answers me when I pray in Faith. 

I begin by saying dear Heavenly Father, 

I thank Him for blessings He sends. 

Then humbly I ask Him for things that I need, 

in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

I would like to talk about the different parts of our prayers using the lines of the second verse of this song as my guide. It starts with

“I begin by saying Dear Heavenly Father.” There are myriad names that our Heavenly Father has been known by in the history of mankind, but in our church we choose to use the term Heavenly Father as our primary title. Why is that? I believe it is because this title more than any other helps remind us of the intimate relationship we have with him. He is not some distant God to be feared only. He is the Father of our spirit. We lived with him before we came to Earth. He taught us. He knows us each by name and personality. He may know us even better than we know ourselves. He loves us and wants us to come back to him, and somewhere, though the feelings and memories have been hidden by the veil, we know we want to return to him, too. This relationship—that of a Father yearning for his child as his child is away from home—is what we have. By respectfully using the title Heavenly Father, we reaffirm and remind ourselves that we are children of God.

The next line in the song goes “I thank Him for blessings He sends.” I think we often underestimate the value of gratitude. A few years ago I was feeling very apocalyptic. I was sure that the world was on the verge of falling apart. I didn’t have any idea how it would happen, whether there would be a massive worldwide economic collapse, natural disasters or something more individual. All I did know was that I had a strong testimony that the prophet would give us the knowledge we needed to be safe. As General Conference approached, I was dedicated to doing whatever task the prophet would direct us to do (I was thinking food storage, humanitarian aid, missionary work, etc). My convictions were strengthened when several of the speakers before the prophet at that conference chose to talk about the divine direction that the Prophet receives for the whole church. Finally the moment came when President Monson stood for his pivotal talk. I almost held my breath as he made small talk about the choir’s last number, waiting to hear the topic of his instruction. You can imagine I was a bit confused and disappointed when he spoke gently and directly on gratitude. Part of me was relieved that the world was not ending yet. I still knew that the Prophet’s instruction would be what saved me, so I hung on every one of his words anyway.  He quoted a scripture from Doctrine and Covenants 59, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things…. And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.”

It’s easy to think of all the things that go wrong during any given day. It’s easy to blame, criticize and complain. In prayer it’s easy to think only of the things you want and need. There is wisdom in the direction we receive to offer gratitude in our prayers before we ask for blessings. The mental strength that comes from the meditative process of counting blessings helps put our needs and wants into better perspective. I have been given the challenge on several occasions to offer a daily prayer of only gratitude. I’ve always been surprised at how easy this is. At first it seems like an unfair request, it seems foreign to not ask for anything in a prayer and perhaps challenging to think of things to be thankful for. Every time I’ve decided to offer a prayer of gratitude, I’ve knelt down, opened my prayer, and suddenly my mind is filled with so many blessings that I can’t help but feel overwhelming thanksgiving. My prayers of gratitude easily take as long, or longer than my fervent prayers of request.

The primary song then leads us to the next part of the prayer, “Then humbly I ask Him for things that I need.” What sort of things do you need from the Lord? Think about this. The key word in this part of the song for me is “humbly.” Remember that Heavenly Father knows what you need before you ask for it (Matthew 6:8). It’s in the asking where your faith and willingness to act shows Heavenly Father you’re ready for His blessings. Ask for personal needs in your life. Ask for blessings. Ask for forgiveness. Ask for peace and the comfort of the Spirit. Ask for spiritual gifts. Pray for others. Sometimes I make lists of what to include in my prayer because I don’t want to forget someone or something that has been on my mind. Your faithful prayers on others behalf are sincerely heard and answered. Based on my experience with my mother growing up, I know there is real power in parental prayers. Another example we have of this power is when Alma prayed for his son, Alma the younger in the book of Mosiah (27:14). Alma senior prayed with so much faith, as did his people, that an angel appeared to Alma the younger and said, “Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that though mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith.”

We always close our prayers “in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” Why do we do this? I think the most obvious reason is that we were commanded to. In 3 Nephi 18:19 Jesus says, “Therefore ye must always pray to the Father in my name.” But the answer is much bigger than that. The answer encompasses the whole Plan of Salvation. Mortality is required for our progression, but mortality is what makes us prisoners to sin and error. Because of our Heavenly Father’s glorified state, our imperfection cannot tolerate his presence. When Christ came and lived his mortal life perfectly, then offered himself for atonement of our sins, He became the bridge between that perfect celestial glory and our imperfect mortality. Through his advocacy is the only way back to our Heavenly Father. In John 14:6 it says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” So when we pray in the name of Jesus Christ, we are partaking of that atonement. We are showing our faith in that great sacrifice that Christ made for us, and using his gift of the atonement to communicate with our Father in Heaven, who we are separated from.

That same mortality that keeps us from God’s presence also prevents his face to face communication with us. This is where the Holy Ghost comes in. Prayer leads to a connection with all three members of the Godhead. We pray to our Heavenly Father with the help of Jesus Christ and we receive comfort and answers from the Holy Ghost. Sometimes before I close my prayers, I take a minute or two to ask for the comfort of the Spirit, clear my mind, and just listen. I find that almost every time I do this I am blessed with that familiar warmth that testifies to me that God is there. I love Psalms 46: 10 where it says, “Be still and know that I am God.” What better time to do that than during prayer?

Answers to Prayers

Answers to our prayers don’t always come easily. When Joseph Smith was weighed down with grief and anguish in Liberty Jail, he felt isolated from the Lord. He cried, “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?” Henry B. Eyring gave a talk during last October’s conference based on this desperate prayer by Joseph Smith. He said, “The pavilion that seems to intercept divine aid does not cover God but occasionally covers us. God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are, covered by a pavilion of motivations that draw us away from God and make Him seem distant and inaccessible. Our own desires, rather than a feeling of “Thy will be done,” create the feeling of a pavilion blocking God. God is not unable to see us or communicate with us, but we may be unwilling to listen or submit to His will and His time.”

What are the things that create pavilions in your life that block communication from heaven? In his talk, President Eyring mentioned our motivations and desires. We can create a barrier to knowing God’s will or feeling His love for us if we insist on our timetable and ignore that God may have a bigger plan. Another mentioned pavilion that hides you from God may be the fear of man. President Eyring said, “Many of you, as I have, have felt fear in approaching someone you have offended or who has hurt you.” I think my struggle is even less direct, I have the fear of being hurt, which often inhibits me from reaching out in the first place. If we look to the Savior’s example, his only motivation was to help people, and the Lord will help “melt hearts” if we are willing to “extend love and forgiveness.” I would like to add my own pavilion that has blocked me from feeling Heavenly Father’s love for me, and that is being physically negligent. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. Our physical bodies are the vessel to all of our experiences while we are in mortality, and if we don’t take care of our bodies, the conduit for spiritual experiences can feel foggy or obscured.

I read an article once written by a member of the Church who left the church. His reasoning for leaving was that he never got an answer to prayer. He said he never felt the Spirit, and when he prayed about the Book of Mormon, he never got the confirmation that was promised at the end of Moroni. Someone told him he didn’t have enough faith and he needed to pray again with more faith. He was turned off by this answer, which is understandable, and became convinced that many in the church were making up spiritual experiences because they didn’t want to confess that they didn’t have enough faith, either.  This story made me sad on so many levels. First, I was sad that this man hadn’t felt or recognized the comfort of the Holy Ghost. I can testify that the Spirit is real and spiritual experiences are available to us all. I have felt the constant and encouraging and comforting influence, and occasionally words from the Holy Ghost. Second, I was sad that he felt the need to impose his lack of belief onto so many others falsely. His claim that “lack of faith” was the problem is something I want to address.

Faith is a spiritual gift. Some are blessed with it more readily than others. Some have to work for it, seek it out and ask for it. Faith doesn’t always come easily. Elder Bednar once described faith as intent to act. If we pray with the intent to do as we are prompted or do what we know is right, we can keep the lines of communication open to heaven. Faith isn’t necessarily based on having spiritual experiences. Faith is a blessing of obedience. I spoke about obedience six months ago, and I have a strong testimony that our knowledge and faith will be increased if we try obedience to the commandments of God.

I know that prayer is real. Heavenly Father is listening to our pleading, watching us, and waiting for us to be ready for His blessings. I know that the Lord speaks to us through the Holy Spirit and it is through the Holy Spirit that we can learn how to live our lives in a way for us to be happy and safe.